Monday, April 29, 2013

An Unexpected Experiment: Month 3 - SPLORTCH

March, 2013
Continuing the impromptu near-daily coitus initiated by my wife in late 2012.

Better than February, we only missed about six days in total this month.


Oral foreplay is still at a minimum.  I get the occasional brief BJ just to bring me to full attention when needed.  I used to miss going down on her, but frankly, I'm OK with the quickness now.

What's new?  Well, positions are still rather basic.  I know she wants it rough if she jumps onto the bed on all fours.  Missionary is a fave just because I like grabbing her tits and occasionally pulling her legs out to one side or up or wherever.

Oh, yeah.  The sound.  This is fairly new.

Much like I have developed preternatural endurance to deal with our increased activities, I believe my wife has also developed something.  Exceptional wetness.  I mean, dripping.  She was plenty wet before.  Let me revise that ... prior to last December, there would have to be some foreplay, some romancing; perhaps some KY Warming Liquid if she wanted a quick one.  Since December, if we're going upstairs, she's already at least somewhat wet.  A few kisses and strokes and she's good.  Nowadays she's deluged.

What's the downside?  The sound.

Are you familiar with Don Martin and his comics years ago for MAD magazine?  He was fond of creating awesome sound effects.  I seem to recall that one of them involved boots in a mud pit and it went something like, "SPLORTCH."  Now imagine that sound repeating over and over again with each thrust.  Loudly.

The feeling is even more bizarre.  Especially when she cums.  There's a gush of additional fluid and I can feel it bubbling along the base and shaft of my cock.

No wonder she feels parched after we're done.


Frequency.  Obvs.

Endurance.  There are occasions when this traipses over into a "con" simply because I develop a cramp or something and I'm nowhere near climaxing.  My wife has no problem with my endurance as she's still averaging about three orgasms each time.


Condoms.  My big variety pack is nearly gone.  I'm stuck using the "flavored" condoms now.  So we get the pleasant smell of latex and bananas afterward.  Sometimes cherry.

The sound.  See above.

I'm out of shape.  Seriously.  I'm not a fat guy but I'm not svelte like I used to be.  My shape isn't what's bugging me, though.  It's the fact that I'm regularly cramping up and even pulling muscles when we have "relations."  I have to change positions, I'm sore the next day, ... When it comes to exercise, I'm going to have to do more than just fuck my wife.

Neither a pro or con:

Masturbation?  I think I may have done so only once.  Insane.

Conclusion thus far:

Still good.  If a married man of fourteen years' complaints about his sex life involve smelly condoms and pulling muscles because I'm getting laid so much and for so long, I think I've got it good.

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